Thursday, March 17, 2011

Just scribing....

Lately I have had so many things running through my mind and decided that instead of journaling about 'em in my diary, which I still may do anyway, I'll just blog about it. This will be me simply writing, be it prose, non-fiction, random thoughts, whatever. No heavy editing or great attention to grammar will be paid; I will leave that for my books, stage/screen plays and other writings. My purpose for this is to get in the habit of writing more frequently and freely - organically. Some may have titles while some may not, depends on my mood at that moment. Anyhoo, here goes....
My eyelids appear to be fused shut. I fight lazily  to open them, but my lack of desire to get up keeps them closed. Once open, I lie on my back looking into the darkness, asking myself what day is it. I grumble when it hits me that it's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday.

I'm pulled out of bed by those invisible strings that lead me to the bathroom, to my clothes, to my car, then drive me to work. I would do this every day until I get of "age" to retire and collect my pension. After work, I come home, fix dinner, eat, spend time with the fam, watch t.v. for a bit then off to bed.

Is this it? This isn't the life I envisioned for myself. How do I find that balance between doing what I love and keeping food on the table? When is one too old to be a starving artist? Then it hits me... Like an epiphany. The next morning I spring outta bed before the alarm blares. Purposefully, I walk into the bathroom, search my closet for the cutest outfit, hop in my car and turn on some music on my way to work. When I get home, I spend quality time with my fam. Then, when the house is still...I am still awake.

I pull out my pen and pad and...write. Instantly there's a surge that rushes through my body. The words flow naturally. My hand is it's own being, writing faster than my thoughts. Is this feeling real? My body is smiling on the inside. This brings me joy, happiness. So much in fact, the sun sets and rises again, which could've easily gone unnoticed had it not been for the alarm clock.

Someone said that in order to do the things you want to do you must first do what you gotta do. Translation: You can't go from A to Z in one big leap. You have to take gradual steps to get there. Once I discovered that thing I love to do, I had to take responsibility and do what is necessary to get me to my dream, which is to write my heart out - and hopefully not have to starve too much during the process. To do this I must practice, study, practice, read, research, practice everyday so that I can enhance my skills (by learning from the best) and exceed my expectations. I have a choice. And my choice is to fit it (writing) into my busy schedule because I have no desire to take the easy road and be led and told when I'm eligible to retire.

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